This goes out to you. Yes. YOU.

Monday 14 July 2008 @ 6:43 PM

Current mood: pleased

If anyone pays attention to me, they’d know that I’m into a lot of webcomics. And I check on them reguarly. 16 different webcomics, to be exact. So anyway, Ryan Sohmer, the writer of one of these webcomics called Least I Could Do, recently proposed to his girlfriend. The following day, he posted some news in the News & Announcements section of the LICD forum about it, trying to define what “love” is.

Basically, he said that although you can “define” love with a dictionary definition, it does not adequately address the emotions and feelings that accompany the concept of love. And because there are emotions that are attached to the concept of love, it will differ from person to person, because each person experiences different emotions in different ways and in the midst of different circumstances. Therefore, a dictionary, no matter how good any prior research to the writing of the dictionary was, cannot sufficiently describe, explain or interpret the deep affection or care that any one person can express towards another. No book or human being can properly define such a simple four-lettered word to apply to every person in the universe.

For me, when I say “I love you” to anyone, this is what I mean (also keep in mind that when I tell someone that I love them, I mean it, and I’m not just referring to romantic love):

No matter where you are, what you’re doing or who you’re with, you will always have a special place, just for you and only you, in my heart. I respect you highly, adore you exceptionally and care for you immensely. With my primary love language being quality time, I desire your one-on-one attention every know and then. Your uniqueness in my life means that I will NEVER find someone to replace you, and nothing that anyone else has done will override or erase the things you have done to make me feel wanted by you, to be considered worthy of your time, or to feel special enough that you would sacrifice your time to be with me. I am truly thankful for your presence in my life, for the input that you have placed, whether big or small, because it has had an enormous impact on my life. When I am with you, I am not with you because I know you will do something amazing for me. I am not with you because I know you will say something that will make me feel better. Those only scratch the surface of my reasons to be with you. I am with you because I want to be, because I can be, and because I’m not letting anything get in my way of spending time with you. And when words are nowhere near enough to describe what I feel, or when I just feel like giving up, you are my refuge and I need you like I need air to breathe.

Even after writing all that, I still feel as if my own explanation of what love is to me wasn’t acceptable.

Should you ever wish to truly stump a writer, the easiest method in which to do so is ask for a definition of ‘love’.

While the amateurs may attempt a cheat by spouting off Miriam Webster’s version: ‘a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person’, the true author will take it many steps further.

As I’ve tried for the last 2 years to adequately define what love is, as I have come to understand it, words have continued to fail me. Yet, here I am, still, trying to define the most personal of feelings.

Is it a look?

A smile upon a beautiful face when you do something stupid? A tightness around the eyes brought forth out of concern? A small frown which you both know will fade with time?

Is it a string of expressions and emotions?

I love you? You are the love of my life? I can’t imagine waking up each morning without you beside me? You make me a better man?

Or is it all of these? Or do these age old cliches barely scratch the surface of what love is?

I have come to the conclusion that to each of us, love means something different, and in that case, is a unique feeling to every single individual on this planet, and thus cannot be universally defined.

As for me, I find that it means:

I don’t know what’s coming, I don’t know what the world will throw at us, but what I do know is that throughout, you will never be without me, you will never stand alone. And as I stand there, you will know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am not there because I have to be, but because there is no other place I would rather be.

Every time I say I love you, with a Muppet-like smile or the rare studious expression, this is what I am saying.

I am sharing this with you all today, because although it’s been often said (And more often ignored) that I am a rather stubborn individual, that I would never bend, never beg or ask for anything, it was to my own surprise that after almost 2 years, I found myself last night at 8pm EST on bended knee, asking Susan to be my wife.

And though she said yes, I am fully aware that she is much too good for someone such as I, know that I pledge to spend the rest of my life making certain she does not come to regret her decision.

The future is a beautiful thing, though not nearly as beautiful as my fiancee, and I cannot wait to share it with her.