Baring my heart.

Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

Month: September, 2009

Raised hands, not weapons, win the battles

This was my photo for Friday, September 11 (what a date), 2009, which was day 3 of my Project:

Exodus 17:8-16

What was so significant about that day that I would post a photo of my Bible and notebook for the Project? An encounter with God happened.

I’m 3 weeks into my fast and I’ve found that while the first 2 weeks were pretty easy, the third (this past week) wasn’t. And I’ve also learned, through accountability with other girls at GFRESH, that it’s when you’re doing your best that the Enemy will work harder to attack you and bring you down.

By the end of the week, I felt so unworthy to face God, that I was actually relieved that I wasn’t scheduled to be up for worship at GFRESH. I didn’t want to be up on the stage playing piano for a King that I wasn’t worthy to face. I felt dirty and useless — but a King’s court is spotlessly clean, and He only has courtiers that are there to serve and submit to Him.

During worship, God pressed the above passage — Exodus 17:8-16 — onto my heart:

     8 The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. 9 Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.”
     10 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up — one on one side, one on the other — so that his hands remained steady till sunset. 13 So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.
     14 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered and make sure that Joshua hears it, because I will completely blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven.”
     15 Moses built an altar and called it The LORD is my Banner. 16 He said, “For hands were lifted up to the throne of the LORD. The LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation.”

So when we got the chance to sit down, I pulled out my notebook and borrowed a pen from Christine to jot down what God taught me from the story:

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Three has this ‘Planet 3’ mobile web thing that you check from your phone, and a particular section of it allows you to check how much of your cap you’ve already spent. I went to go check it, to see how much of my cap was now gone due to the amount of text messages I’d sent today. The ad at the top of this page advertises the free Facebook access that members of 3 have, which lasts until the end of September. When I signed in to Planet 3, this is what I saw:

There's no way to do a screenshot on my phone. I had to stick it in front of my webcam.

Now, as you might know, I haven’t been on Facebook in a while. So, obviously, the ad doesn’t appeal to me. It isn’t relevant. But what was relevant was the number ’20’.

No, it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m turning 20 soon. Actually, I’m referring to the fact that there are members of 3 who got addicted to Facebook because of 3’s “Free Facebook” promotion which was originally meant to end on August 31st. And these same people, when they discovered that the promotion got extended to September 30, obviously took advantage of it. Why? ‘Cause they don’t want to pay an extra $5 a month to have internet access on their phones.

So now, these people are all sitting, standing, pooping, or walking with their eyes glued to their phone thinking I better make the most of this free Facebook access on my mobile! because they only have 20 days left till it’s no longer free (or so we think). They’re all anxious and biting their nails, ’cause in 20 days, they’ll be forced to actually talk to people face to face, instead of commenting on the Facebook status of the person sitting across the room from them.

I, however, am not at all worried about the free-access-to-Facebook-promotion ending. Seeing “20 days to go” actually made me think of SOS camp.

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Project 365

A new post already? But you just posted yesterday!

Yes, yes, I know. Is it too soon for another post? Meh, who cares!

So, what is Project 365? The first time I heard of it was in Nikki‘s post about her undertaking of the Project, and the concept intrigued me.

The idea of Project 365, according to Nikki, is to take a photo that encapsulates your day. But the idea of using an image to describe my day to you is a task that I find difficult. I may not be a words person, and pictures may be worth a thousand words, but I like to describe things with words.

I thought I’d Google “project 365” and I found some interesting blogs that people posted about their decisions to take part in the Project. Surprisingly, I couldn’t find an article on it in Wikipedia, so I’ll have to settle for an article from Photojojo‘s site about the What’s, the Why’s and the How’s of Project 365:

Project 365: How to Take a Photo a Day and See Your Life in a Whole New Way

The idea of being able to look back on photos taken each day throughout the last 12 months of my life is what excites me about Project 365. The purpose of Project 365 is to also improve your photographing skills. I’m not a photographer, but I guess it’s worth a try. I don’t even have a camera, but the 2-megapixel camera on my new phone will be good enough.

I won’t be posting my Project 365 pics here on WordPress — instead, I’ll be posting them to my Posterous blog. What is Posterous? A more convenient way to blog. But I still love WordPress, no doubt about that. It’s just that when I post a photo to Posterous, it automatically gets posted to my brand-spankin’ new Flickr account.

I don’t know what my first photo will be. Like I said before, it’ll be difficult for me to capture a day’s worth of events, emotions, jokes or lessons in just one photo. I say, bring on the challenge!

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Nokia E63

Today, my mum:

  • let me move to 3 from the crappy, wastes-my-money Optus
  • get the Nokia E63, which got put back on the $19 cap after not having been on it for a month or 2
  • and

  • go on the $29 cap because the sales girl explained that, money-wise, being on the $29 cap provided better value than the $19 cap, even though I had explained to her already that on Optus prepaid I would spend $40 a month anyway, so letting me go on the $29 cap with 3 suited me more.


Oh yeah. Thank you, mother.

– “Keep moving forward.” – Walt Disney


I’m aiming for a HD

I’m studying for an exam that’s far more important than any other, and while I now know all the theory, I’m finding it hard to actually apply it in order to pass the exam — which is the application of the theory in my life. Anticipating the final exam is getting me more pumped for SOS (graduation), but if I don’t study hard enough and I end up with less than a High Distinction, I’ll feel guilty throughout my graduation ceremony because I didn’t reach the standard I had set for myself earlier, which was to get a HD. Sure, a Distinction, Credit or Pass will still result in me getting my diploma and graduating, but a HD is my target and goal. If I miss my target, even by one mark, graduation will not be a time for me to celebrate my achievements — it will just be another ceremony, another piece of paper, another camp.

After a student graduates from high school, what do they do? They celebrate, they party, they go on holiday, they become lazy and sleep in every day. The better prepared students, however, will have applied for jobs well before graduation, so that when they leave school, they are not being idle and they are making the most of their time. They will enter the REAL WORLD in order to MAKE A LIVING.

Often, after youth camps, the passion resides. The youth were zealous during the 3 or 4 days of camp, but when they return home and enter the REAL WORLD (school, work, etc.), their passion dies and they stop studying. They become lazy, sleepy and idle. They go back to their old ways of living, which, in reality, means spiritual death.

This fast is preparation for my turn to enter the REAL WORLD, so that when I graduate — when SOS is over and I go back to uni the following day — my passion will not die and I won’t stop studying. I won’t have a “job”, per se, but there will be a change reflected in me that will alert people in the REAL WORLD that I am “making a living” — that I am going to work every day; that I am dying to self and taking up my cross daily.

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name,
will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have said to you.

John 14:26

The Holy Spirit, my Teacher, did not teach me the things that He has and then tested me on it so that I would graduate, and then that was it. He didn’t teach me important, life-changing lessons so that I would forget all of it after graduation, but so that when employers (the unsaved) look at my qualifications, they see that I HAVE the qualifications. They will see that I when I carry the name of Christ, it is not merely a label to notify other Christians that we can hang out on a Sunday morning. But it is a title, a name, and a calling that I was predestined to have. It is a way of living that I will choose to live on a daily basis, not so that I look holy compared to the rest of the world, but because I desire to live the Matthew 22:37 life — to love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind.

– “Keep moving forward.” – Walt Disney


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