June Buggy*

Oh dear! We’ve hit June, and you know what that means!

It’s the time of the year when every breathing person looks like they’re smoking whenever they’re outdoors. It’s the time of the year when it’s impossible to find a room full of silent people1. And it’s the time of the year when every one sounds like they’re wearing a peg on their nose whenever they talk.

Wikipedia says that winter, for Southern Hemisphere dwellers, begins between June 20 and 23. Does Wikipedia know that we’ve only just begun June?! Then Wikipedia says that winter ends on September 22 or 23, which is stupid, because everyone knows that September is the first month of Spring. Methinks school didn’t teach us properly. Either that, or Wikipedia is more wrong than ever.

For me, winter officially begins when it’s too cold at night to go to bed and not have my ginormous quilt covering me. This year, that was the beginning of May. It’s getting colder earlier every year, and I blame the cows for that.

To me, winter is about looking like an emo Obi-Wan, celebrating Red Nose Day every day2, going through 1 tissue box a week3, and instead of carrying a towel around, I carry a packet of tissues4. Now that I’ve got my P’s, winter’s about sitting in a cold car waiting for the back window to clear up5.

Winter’s about freezing my ass off just trying to change clothes. Winter’s about not being able to breathe through your nose so you sleep with your mouth open and wake up in the morning with a desert-dry mouth. Winter’s about going to the toilet after someone else just did (hopefully they sat) so that the toilet seat isn’t cold when you go. Winter’s about standing outside with your hands tucked under your arm pits so you don’t get frostbite on your fingers. Winter’s about shopping for scarves6 and ugg boots instead of bikinis7. Winter’s about wearing jackets with looong sleeves and people forget that you have hands. Winter’s about being hesitant to leave your bed in the morning ’cause it’s too cold to get out of bed. Winter’s about hot chocolates instead of chocolate ice cream.

I love winter. And even though I have a secret fear that I’ll get frostbite one of these days, I would never trade the fun of these cold temperatures for the world.

– “Keep moving forward.” – Walt Disney

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