Taking the first step
Lately, I’ve been struggling to take the first step forward in a particular aspect of my life. I wrote in a previous blog about this desire to move forward, but I’ve since realised that not only is my courage not at the same level as my determination, but taking a step forward is not as easy as I initially thought.
I kept asking God to give me courage, and to reveal to me why I was so determined, yet so terrified. I couldn’t understand why one moment I was whispering out loud, “You can do this, Danica,” and the next moment I was in a panic and my heart was beating as if it would pop right out of my chest.
For a while now, Nickelback’s If Today Was Your Last Day has been stuck in my head, with no intention of getting out. I was listening to this song in the car, and the line “That first step you take is the longest stride” stuck out at me, while God silently whispered, Horses. I stopped dead in my tracks (not literally of course, otherwise I would’ve caused several collisions) as my curiosity was brought to an end.
Have you ever seen a newborn foal (baby horse) walk for the very first time? Being a four-legged creature, it depends a lot on its legs. It needs to learn how to walk, trot, canter and gallop, just as we need to learn how to walk, speak, read and write. Horses don’t have a way of carrying their young, like how kangaroos have pouches, so a foal has to learn how to walk pretty much as soon as it is born.
When a foal is born, it can’t carry it’s own weight yet, so it’s legs will shake and wobble as it tries to stand for the first time. It may fall, but it will soon get back up and attempt to stand once more. It will slip, it’s legs will give way, but the foal’s instincts are to stand with straight legs and walk proudly. When the foal is finally able to stand on it’s own, it will proceed to put a hoof forward. Once again, it may fall, but only because it’s not yet used to moving it’s legs. Eventually, the foal will get the hang of this walking thing, and it’ll become a breeze.
Walking seems so easy. Physically, we walk every day. Well, I know I do. Whether it be across my campus to get to my first class on time, or from my bedroom to the bathroom, I use these God-given legs to transport my body every day. But we tend to forget (because we were too young to remember) how it all began. We don’t know how many times we fell on our nappied buttocks, only to look up into our parents’ hopeful, encouraging eyes, so that we would have the courage to get up and move our stubby legs until we find ourselves in their congratulatory embrace.
It’s hard to do so, and I’m afraid of falling, but I have to be the one to take the first step. Only I can move my own feet. God’s not going to grab my knees and plough my feet into the ground for me. He gave me life, so I have to use the strength he’s given me to learn to stand on my own two feet, and take the first step. Yes, I’ll fall, but God will be there to catch me. Yes, it will hurt, but God will be there to comfort me. Yes, it will be difficult and it will not be an easy task, but every time I look up, I will look into the face of my Creator, with His hopeful, encouraging eyes. And in the end, I will run into His arms and He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
The first step isn’t meant to be easy. If it was, we wouldn’t learn anything.
Dedicated to Ate Heidi ❤
“I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly.
Though, it’s not easy to tell you goodbye.
Take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.”
Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson