On the wings of eagles
The year of 2008 was, for Generation FRESH, the year of being Unlimited. It was about having no restrictions, being boundless, and living unrestrained lives for our God. But throughout the year, we found that it was difficult to be more than what we already were, especially when we tried to do it on our own. It was difficult to live unlimited lives when, as humans, we had so many limits.
By the end of the year, we realised that God wasn’t trying to teach us how to be unlimited, but that he was trying to show us how big he was and how small we were compared to him. He was teaching us that he is larger than any of our circumstances, and that we couldn’t be unlimited unless we understood how limited we were.
Even now I’m still learning my limits. I keep trying to do things my own way, and God lets me get far enough to get bruised, just to teach me a lesson. I think it’s my fault for trying to be independent.
I think today was a bit of a turning point. I say “a bit” because I had the opportunity to take another step forward, but instead, I shied away and thought too much about how wide my stride should be, instead of just putting my foot forward. However, today was a turning point because of something that God was whispering to me during church today. Today’s message didn’t hit me much, but during the altar call I knew God had sent me a wake up call.
I just wanted to stand there, but I knew I had to come forward and kneel at God’s feet. But I felt as if I wasn’t worthy to just kneel. Have you ever seen The King and I? The King would always say that no one’s head was to be higher than his. Obeying this rule was seen as a sign of respect to the King, and I felt that this “rule” applied to me as I came into the presence of the King of Kings.
I wanted to kneel with my face down, but even then I didn’t feel I was worthy to be any higher than dirt. So I got down as low as I could, which was to prostrate myself before God. I shook terribly, my breaths were quick and sharp, my head was swimming and I knew it was because I had been trying to live unlimitedly without God’s help.
I had already spent the first 4 months of 2009 living pretty much the same impatient, stubborn life that I had been living in 2008. I was wasting my time being disobedient, and because I wasn’t letting God do anything, I felt shackled and as if I had hit a ceiling and couldn’t move any further.
Throughout last year, the Eagle kept popping up everywhere to me. I didn’t understand it, and I thought it was just coincidence, till it appeared too often, and I knew it wasn’t coincidence, but God telling me something. I didn’t know what, though. Now that the ceiling is gone, I know now that I was supposed to be that Eagle. God gave me wings that I wasn’t using, and he wants me to be free and to soar freely.
“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
And as if to reiterate my freedom in Him, God showed me this amazing photo by an amazing photographer. I took one look at the sky, noticed how clear it was, and all I wanted to do was fly.
Free The Mind by Mike Shaw
“My hope is built on nothing less / Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness / I dare not trust the sweetest frame / But wholly lean on Jesus’ name”
Solid Rock by Delirious?
Give me courage, Lord. I’m afraid of heights.
“My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right”
If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback
[UPDATE 15.11.2010] Mike has since deleted his old deviantART account (morbidthegrim) and has created a new account under mikeshawphotography, to which he hasn’t uploaded Free The Mind. I sent him a note on dA to re-upload the image with reasons for my request, but he either hasn’t read it or did a mass-delete of all notes and messages after I sent it. He now has his own site which provides email addresses for contact, but I don’t think I can be bothered to ask him again to upload the image. [/UPDATE]